My NCAA Predictions
Admittedly, over the past few years, I've become increasingly mired in a kind of inescapable pessimism. With 9/11, the Iraq War, the critical accolades for Sex and the City, the "peak oil" prediction of energy shortages, the environmental tipping point, Abu Ghraib, Van Helsing, it's a little hard to see where the global recovery begins.
Last month, I thought I'd spiraled out of control when I had a weird nightmare in which Dick Cheney tried to shoot me in the face but accidentally hit a wingless bird instead. Imagine my surprise the next morning, when I woke up to read this. Spooky.
Anyway, because my pessimistic gut instinct was correct with my Oscar pick, I thought I'd toss in my prediction, also based primarily on an intense emotional reaction rather than "knowledge" or "research," for the Final Four.
With apologies to Defamer's nightmare Oscar nominations, I make the following picks:
Atlanta Regional winner: Duke
Oakland Regional winner: JJ Redick
DC Regional winner: Duke
Minneapolis Regional winner: Oberlin
My sense is that in the Duke/JJ Redick semifinal, Redick will tire himself out by having to play offense on both sides of the court, though he will hit a record 73 3-point shots, 40 for himself and 33 for Duke. Duke wins.
Duke/Oberlin is a bit easier to call. With some controversy over a Division III team from an excellent-but-artsy liberal arts college being forced to play Duke in the Final Four, the public anger later focuses on several questionable fouls called by the Cameron Indoor Stadium officiating crew against Oberlin players. Among them: one shooting guard called for striking JJ Redick's elbow repeatedly with his forehead, and a forward called for attacking Shelden Williams's foot with his groin.
Final score: 400-6.
Oberlin Yeomen coach Frank "Happy" Dobbs praises his team's courage and effort in a postgame interview, and is called for a technical foul for doing so. JJ Redick takes the five free throws that the officiating crew awards him.
New final score: 405-6.
In the Duke-Duke final, the teams tie, giving Coach K his fourth and fifth national championships. Congratulations, Blue Devils!
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