SIVACRACY.NET: The Top 16 Changes Now That the Baby Has Arrived

In honor of Melissa and Siva, but not necessarily representative of their experiences...

16> Hubby drops to #2 on the list of people drooling at the sight
of your breasts.
15> Store clerks don't look at you so funny when you buy your
regular weekly supply of diapers.
14> Finally, someone you can beat at "Got Your Nose," at least
for a year or so.
13> You develop a liking for minivans and sensible shoes,
and a deep-seated contempt for Michael Jackson.
12> You're not so tolerant of strangers asking to touch your
round little belly anymore now that you're just FAT.
11> Goodbye, happy hour. Hello, Happy Meal!
10> Can't leave the AK-47s under the couch anymore.
9> No longer get arrested for whipping out your breast on the
subway.
8> The realization that caca comes in a rainbow of lovely colors.
7> Well, there goes the pet dingo.
6> Cases of Bud Light quickly replaced by cases of Butt Wipes.
5> Bundle of joy, my ass. Just another ingrate to buy cigarettes
for.
4> Junior looks adorable in his little "sandbox," but the cat is
seriously torqued about it.
3> Mama cuts back to a sixer a day now that she's only "drinkin'
fer one."
2> For efficiency, your paycheck now direct-deposited to Disney.
and TopFive's Number 1 Change Now That the Baby Has Arrived...
1> The closest you come to orgasm is when you think of sleep.